CIATB Chapter 122 What exactly do you want me to do to get you to accept me again and come back to my side
Chapter 122 What exactly do you want me to do to get you to accept me again and come back to my side
Su Wan walked in front, and Lu Chenyuan walked behind.
Su Wan walked very fast, as if a ghost was chasing her.
She didn't know what was wrong with her. Ever since Lu Chenyuan confessed his feelings to her and forcibly kissed her last night, she felt like she had lost her mind.
It's like she has schizophrenia; one moment she's afraid of him, the next she hates him, then she's annoyed by him, and then she's ashamed of his actions.
Especially when we were in the booth just now, his arm was around her, and his presence enveloped her.
Moreover, when his hand was placed on her waist, it uncontrollably ignited the restlessness within her body.
That restlessness rekindled the longing that had welled up in her heart when she first saw him.
This discovery made her panic, so she used going to the toilet as an excuse to avoid him.
Actually, she didn't want to go to the toilet. She stayed inside for a long time, splashing cold water on her face several times, before she managed to calm herself down.
When I washed my face with cold water, I looked at myself in the mirror. My face was flushed and my eyes were sparkling. It seemed that I had really been aroused by him and had a physical reaction.
However, she had to restrain herself.
If you say no, then no.
She didn't even know what she was being dramatic about.
That is, whenever she feels a flutter in her heart or her heart flutters, she will think of his cold attitude towards her in the past, and she will feel inexplicably wronged.
Not only that, but when she thought back to the time he pushed her, it seemed to have really taken root in her heart, like a thorn that she couldn't pull out.
She knew she shouldn't be so petty, because she was in the wrong before.
She tried to seduce him even though she knew he had a girlfriend; she was like a shameless mistress.
But at that time, she really couldn't control her emotions.
Now that he's come to his senses, he's already made a mistake that caused him to break up with Lin Man, and not only that, it also made him fall in love with her.
Should she take responsibility? But if she does, she's unsure if she can treat him normally afterwards. Right now, she feels like she has a lump in her throat, neither able to let go nor able to move on, which makes her very uncomfortable.
For the past two weeks, he hadn't come to see her, and she had genuinely thought she had let go of the past.
But from last night until now, just a few kisses and his forceful approach have already stirred her heart again.
She feels so helpless, frustrated, and confused right now.
She wanted to tell Lu Chenyuan, "Could you please stop bothering me like this? After you've expressed your feelings, could you please stay away from me and give me some space and time to think things through?"
Or, after she explicitly rejected him, why not just leave her, turn around, and let everything go back to square one?
Can't we just pretend we've never existed in each other's worlds?
She returns to her original position, and he returns to his original position, isn't that good?
Now, he's beside her, saying things that show he likes her, but all she can think about is his outstretched hand, the way he pushed her away—a moment she can never forget.
Especially when she endured the excruciating pain and forced herself to remain calm as she ran out of his office, her heart ached terribly.
That's why she later gave up on him and offered her blessings, wishing him and Lin Man a long and happy marriage.
No one knew what she had gone through that day, not even Lin Weiwei. When she squatted at the traffic light and cried uncontrollably, she was like a madwoman, oblivious to the crowds coming and going. At that moment, her heart felt as if it had been crushed into powder by his indifference.
Even after he found her and took her to the hospital, she still couldn't let it go.
On that day at the bar, when she splashed wine all over his face and he stopped her from getting into a taxi, she actually had some fantasies.
At that time, she said she had given up, but in every single thing, she was still harboring illusions.
If it were two weeks ago, before she completely denied him, he could have told her that he regretted it and that he liked her.
How wonderful that would be.
But he didn't; he just watched her leave with a complex emotion in his eyes.
The moment she got into Lin Weiwei's car, her heart died completely.
However, the pain takes time to heal.
For the next two weeks, whenever she thought of him, she would pinch her arm hard until it was covered in bruises.
When I can't sleep, I drink alcohol, and when I drink too much, I fall asleep.
To escape missing him, she filled her life with activities, including work and gatherings with her girlfriends.
What Lin Weiwei and the others knew about the pain and suffering in her heart was only a tiny fraction of what she truly felt.
But how could Lu Chenyuan know what he thought, what he perceived as a short half-month?
For her, it was a long journey from the human world to hell, and then from hell to her rescue and rise again.
For her, these short two weeks felt more like a cycle, a shedding, and a rebirth.
She stripped herself bare, bleeding profusely, to achieve this seemingly carefree demeanor.
There's no easy way to turn back.
Tears welled up in her eyes, but she washed them away with cold water, calmed herself down, and walked out of the bathroom.
When I saw Lu Chenyuan, my mood had already calmed down.
However, his unhurried pace following behind her made her heart race.
What exactly does he want to do?
Does liking her mean you have to follow her around forever?
Just like she used to be, she wanted to see him every moment, and would go crazy if she couldn't see him.
What should she do in the days to come?
Didn't Lin Weiwei say she would introduce Lu Yuanfeng to her?
Why is there still no movement at all?
Introducing Lu Yuanfeng to her sooner rather than later, regardless of the outcome, would at least allow Lu Chenyuan to see her resolute attitude more clearly, wouldn't that be better?
With something on her mind, Su Wan walked away absentmindedly.
I don't know who poured a glass of water or wine on the floor next to the booth; it was slippery.
She was wearing high heels today and was a little unsteady, suddenly falling to the side.
The expected fall did not happen; instead, a warm hand wrapped around her waist.
Immediately afterwards, he swept her up in his arms, but did not walk towards their booth.
Lu Chenyuan carried her to a secluded corner in a few steps. It was a very private space with excellent soundproofing, keeping out the music and noise from outside. Only the dim yellow light from the wall lamp cast ambiguous shadows, intertwining the two figures together.
Su Wan had been to this bar once before, but she never knew there was such a place here.
Lu Chenyuan looked at her with burning eyes, his chest heaving, and even his breathing was a little unsteady.
He looked intently into her eyes, speaking each word with unwavering seriousness.
"Su Wan, let's talk."
We need to talk again. What should we talk about?
Didn't we already talk about it during the day?
In the hot pot restaurant, she spoke so clearly and resolutely, but he completely refused to accept her opinion or listen to her advice.
What's the point of discussing this now?
"I'm serious, this isn't a spur-of-the-moment decision, nor is it just a game."
He had said this over and over again, and she was so tired of hearing it that she didn't want to hear it again.
"Lu Chenyuan, you said these things to me last night and this morning. I know and I understand that you are serious, not just playing around or acting on impulse."
"And then? Is there anything else you want to say to me, like, something new and interesting besides these few sentences?"
Su Wan had already drunk several cups by the time Lu Chenyuan appeared.
Although the wine was light and not strong, its effects lingered and rose up, making her feel a little tipsy. The light and shadows in her vision became somewhat hazy, and her tone of voice unconsciously became a bit sharp.
"I don't want to hear anymore. Can you come up with something new? If not, I'm leaving."
She turned to leave, but Lu Chenyuan suddenly grabbed her wrist, pulling her back into his arms with an irresistible force.
His hand gripped her chin, his fingertips pressing against her jawline, forcing her to look up at him. Intense emotions surged in his eyes, and his voice was low and hoarse, like crumpled sandpaper.
"Since you don't want to hear this, fine, then I'll just ask you directly: what exactly do you want me to do to accept me again, come back to my side, and like me like before?"